Supporting someone who may be suicidal
Talking to someone about their thoughts of suicide can be very difficult.
Do not be afraid to ask a direct question using clear language. For example, “You seem very low and I’m worried about you. Are you thinking of ending your life?” Asking such a direct question will not give them the idea to take their own life. Any thoughts of suicide they may have will have developed over time. By asking the question, you will give them the chance to open up and to talk. If the answer is yes, do not panic. The best you can do is to listen to them without judgement or blame.
Suicidal thoughts or feelings don’t arrive out of the blue. Many factors come together to increase someone’s risk. Usually, there is a mix of personal and social factors. It is rare that one event makes someone’s life so unbearable that suicide seems the only option. However, it is important to remember that you may not know the sources of stress that could contribute to the likelihood of suicide.
Listen and Understand
Give them space to explain what is going on and how they feel about it. Avoid responses which reject how they are feeling or make light of how they feel. Do not try to change their view of their situation without listening.
Take it seriously
Show that you believe them. Take any talk of suicide seriously. Most people do not talk or think about suicide lightly. There may be a serious risk of death.
Be Realistic
Nothing is going to change quickly. It will have taken a long time for them to get to this point. It will take more time to build up the supports and resources they need. Even when you have linked up with support services, their risk of suicide can remain for some time.
Stay Connected
When someone is feeling suicidal, they can withdraw from everyone. Being connected to other people who care about them will reduce their suicidal feelings.
Get Help
They will need help and support from others, not just you. Think about who else can help, for example: family members, friends, people they work with and professional help. If there is an immediate risk that they will harm themselves, they will need emergency help.
Attempting Suicide
Call 112 or 999 if you’re worried that someone:
- is attempting suicide
- is about to attempt suicide
Organisations that provide Support
The type of support you need depends on how difficulties affect your everyday life. This can include how long they have lasted or if your usual coping strategies stop working.